I am a tragic hero.

Packing gratis. This isn't even all of it. Yikes.

2009-09-22T13:44:00.000-07:00

I <3 NY

2009-09-13T12:52:00.000-07:00

O.M.G.

2009-09-01T17:28:00.001-07:00

Our hotel experience in Boston

2009-08-28T19:36:00.001-07:00

Two Weeks by Grizzly Bear most amazing fan video

2009-08-25T09:43:00.000-07:00

Two Weeks - Grizzly Bear from Gabe Askew on Vimeo.

Missed Connections

2009-08-13T20:12:00.002-07:00

"I saw this captivating girl at the Metropolitan Museum of Art yesterday (Tues 8/11) around 2pm/2:30pm. I used to work at the Met so I went to visit some old co-workers and to see the new exhibits. When I was in the American Wing Statue Courtyard, and in the period rooms I noticed this beautiful, interesting brunette wearing a white tank top and peach colored skirt who was taking pictures of statues and writing something in a book. I regret not attempting to talk to her. It's a long shot, but if she's reading this, my name is TJ and I would love to get to know you to any capacity! You stood out more than the artwork... "

"tuesday aug 11

we were both waiting for the 4 train at union square, reading our books when we got on the train. someone near you got up and i took their seat. you got off the train before me. god, you were so beautiful.

you probably wont read this, but if you do...let's grab a coffee together."

"We switched from the F to the E, and didn't have to wait at all! You were wearing a black dress and worked in costume design, which I still think is really cool.

I don't know if anything long-term would work out between us, but i should have told you how beautiful I think you are."

On Wednesday I got on the D train after work. At the 2nd stop, the guy next to me got up, so I slid over to my favorite seat, next to the door. In moving, I thought I noticed the guy across the doorway from me checking me out. Things like this usually go COMPLETELY over my head, or I assume I just imagined it, and I've been trying to be a little more conscious and accepting of being hit on so I can take advantage of it and get myself out there. And I've also been trying to be more proactive. So I glanced over when more people were getting on the train, and our eyes met. He smiled. I don't have the guts to keep the eye contact going for long, so I pulled the look-away-and-smile move. A few moments later I looked back. Again with the look exchange and smiling. According to friends who are more experienced in the dating pool of Manhattan, the second look was my signal that he could approach me. So I waited for it. My heart was beating so hard. This wasn't just any guy, this was a maybe-35-year-old very attractive tall caucasian man in a nice suit. !!!!! By now I am used to guys in the Heights checking me out, but an attractive slightly older man in a nice suit is an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT BALL GAME. And so my bubble of considering myself not attractive enough has been popped. Just like that. And it feels amazing.

The reason why I write this post is not because I am conceited. Quite the opposite. I write this post because I have struggled with self-image concerns since I became aware of my looks. That magical age where you start comparing yourself to your classmates. I could write examples of the horrifying things fellow students have done to or said about me but suffice it to say, the struggle is deeply-rooted and difficult to conquer. 5 years at a college obsessed with marriage where no one wanted to date me didn't help matters. So here I am, in the center of millions of single men, finally learning the rules of the dating game. And Wednesday night was a big lesson. And a huge triumph. This man finally fit the demographic of what my 12-year-old self pictured when dreaming of her future. (Not that I'm expecting my man to look like what my 12-year-old-self pictured, but that particular demographic of man has previously never hit on me, being a curvy girl.)

I'm not sure why this man didn't ask for my number, as he was obviously digging me-- he kept his eye on me the entire ride. He stood up to let me know he was getting off at the next stop, but I didn't want to make the first verbal contact, that was supposed to be his job (and my heart was beating way too hard). I had done the look exchange three times. I felt that was enough to send my approval of approach. If I'd had business cards, I would have slipped him one, but all I had in my bag was a crumpled menu. After he got off he stayed on the platform with his eye on me. I guess he'll be a one that got away.

After coming up to the street out of the subway I immediately phoned a friend to squeal and jump up and down with. Confidence is key, and mine is growing.

The quotations at the top of the post are from the Missed Connections section of Craigslist. My roommate insisted I look for a post about myself. Reading that section is kind of magical. I doubt many people actually find the other person they found so mesmerizing, but what a romantic gesture! It's one of those things that restores your faith in humanity.

I love how these statements are someone's vain cast into endless cyberspace, on the tiniest chance it will catch on something.

It's really happening, folks.

2009-07-31T16:33:00.002-07:00

Our hearts are still beating at an accelerated rate. October 21st is our departure date.

oh Brandon

2009-07-23T15:14:00.001-07:00

Your face annoys me. But your dance has won me over. I think Jeanine is in her head in this dance. Brandon is the one I can't take my eyes off of. He risks and commits in every dance. He is the best dancer this season. I don't think he's taken a wrong step.

What a fantastic day

2009-07-20T15:59:00.002-07:00

This was our view walking back towards the boardwalk.

Sarah and I had a correlating day off. This doesn't often happen. Our first plan was to go kayaking for free on the Hudson and then catch Harold and Maude in Bryant Park. But kayaking turned out to only be between 5 and 7, not ideal for movie-in-the-parking. And then when I awoke this morning at 9:30 (it is a beautiful beautiful thing when I just naturally wake up this early), I had the brilliant idea to go to the beach. Something I tried and failed to do a week or so ago. And boy howdy am I glad we did.

Sarah is not very tolerant of travel time. (Yes, she will have to get over this in South America.) And since it was kind of late by the time she woke up, we decided to do Coney Island instead of a couple of other free beaches attainable via public transit. It's slightly closer. And when I say Coney Island, that does not mean we planned to go to the amusement park. No no no friends. I do not feel the need. So we gathered our bath towels, beach reads (Sarah's: Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger, Mine: No One Belongs Here More Than You, Stories by Miranda July) and iPods, heading out the door for the D train.

I have not previously enjoyed that much beach time in my life. I remember a childhood trip or trips to the beach. North Carolina? Virginia Beach? I'm not sure. I remember something we called sand crabs (are they actually sand fleas?), dead jellyfish (creeeeeeepy!), and my dad and maybe Catherine holding my hands so I could go out into the ocean. A wave surprised me, I drank some sea water, and burped really loudly. Oh and boogie boards. Retrospectively, I don't know why the sand crabs didn't freak me out more, because I'm pretty sure they would now. But we were totally into capturing them and playing with them. Weird.

One college summer I spent a day on the Mediterranean coast in Italy, in a very small town with a fantastic ocean view (rocky though), called Livorno. But I was in too-ashamed-of-my-body-to-wear-a-suit mode and spent the day lounging on the rocks fully clothed. Much to the disappointment of my good friends Logan and Sylvia who were enjoying the sparkling blue waves without me. I loved all the Italians though, they have such a different attitude toward their bodies. No shame at all. No matter what shape and size you are. Different mentality than Americans.

So today was absolutely delightful. Coney Island beach is fairly trashy and dirty when compared to many other beaches, but still, for my first real beach experience in years, nice enough. Sarah and I just lounged, played cards, listened to iPods, waded into the waves briefly, and lazied away hours with the sound of water in the background. Sarah also protected me from this guy who dug me a little too much. We were out of the city for a brief respite (do not get me wrong I LOVE NYC), and I loved sitting on the subway in our beach get-ups instead of day to day wear. Since I work retail and whenever I am working I am aiding and abetting other people in their day-off or vacation hurrahs, I find special pleasure in flaunting my time-off activities. Hahaha, I see you young woman, heading to work, well guess what? I am obviously heading to the beach! How does that feel? Yes, Seph0ra certainly brings out the ugly in me sometimes.

So here we are back at home. A day of achieving nothing but relaxation behind us. And I am A-OK with that readers. Because a beach day here and there is what summer is all about.

And yes, of course I wore plenty of broad-spectrum sun screen. I am a Seph0ra Bot after all.

My view, brought to you by Coney island beach day

2009-07-20T11:54:00.000-07:00

If only this just happened to be part of my transit every day

2009-07-19T14:16:00.000-07:00

Up on the High Line

2009-07-19T14:14:00.000-07:00

The Secret of Kells

2009-07-14T10:37:00.001-07:00

Who wants to go see this film with me at the IFC on Saturday at 11 AM?!?!

love it!!

2009-07-14T09:01:00.001-07:00

though the music is really low

Wade... and Travis!

2009-07-09T09:53:00.001-07:00

So apparently the last number of Brandon and Jeanette's is not on youtube. How disturbing because I really need to post it. Wade+Roisin Murphy again, magic. And Jeanette, I love you! Please win this show. You can do no wrong. She totally commits every ounce of herself whenever she is performing.

But in searching for the number, I stumbled across this number of Wade's, in which he performs, with Travis!

Mia again

2009-07-09T09:40:00.002-07:00

I loved this. It's no surprise that Mia choreographed one of my favorites of the week (and of the season). This was so gorgeous, so effective. Kayla's performance was really excellent. This number made me gasp out loud twice! (My roommate-- and doubtless others-- thinks I am ridiculous.)

That movement is such a powerful portrayal of this kind of darkness. I love dance.

Yes, we're in!!! I can finally breathe now.

2009-07-05T16:50:00.000-07:00

In the voucher line... Still waiting...

2009-07-05T15:55:00.001-07:00

My companion in waiting

2009-07-05T03:55:00.001-07:00

2 raccoons gamboling in Central Park

2009-07-05T03:53:00.000-07:00

Waiting in LONG line for Shakes in Park at 6AM

2009-07-05T03:52:00.001-07:00

favorite choreography this week

2009-07-04T11:38:00.001-07:00

Sonya isn't usually right up my alley, though contemporary is, but I thought this dance was beautiful. It really showcased Kayla, which was nice, and I wish it had equally showcased Kupono. But whatevs, the dance was gorgeous. (Though I think Wade's crash test dummy dance is still my favorite of the season.)

favorite couple

2009-07-04T11:33:00.001-07:00

So it's been another week of training SOS (it went really well), and today I am in recovery mode-- laying in bed watching SYTYCD has been a lovely Saturday morning. Especially after a week of SOS, a week of moving and a couple of emotional upheavals, and another week of SOS. I am ready for a break. And I've got to say, this week of dance was really fantastic. Was I the only one to shed a tear of the Dizzy Feet Foundation? I love dance.

Janette and Brandon are officially my favorite couple, though Brandon bugs the hell out of me. He is an undeniably great dancer. And I think I want Janette to win the show. I think she can if she keeps things up. I love her.

I do not love ballerina girl. Yeah right those dance choices are random. She needs to go home next week.

Loving the breeze whilst studying in bed.

2009-06-30T12:52:00.002-07:00

My new room is so peaceful. These are going to be 3 very short months.

2009-06-29T22:23:00.002-07:00

Finally. I am sitting in my new bed, eating an actual meal-- not standing and scarfing a sandwich-- I am relaxing and watching a show after a very very long day of moving. And my new room has blinds so I can sleep in tomorrow. Finally.

And, I am so wonderfully pleased by the goodness in people. Thank you friends. For the move, and for the pup. I am so so so so so so so glad that people came through for him.

Miyazaki goodness

2009-06-29T16:36:00.001-07:00

wowza

2009-06-26T21:07:00.001-07:00

I wasn't a huge fan of any of the dances this week-- but I liked the group dance. That Tabitha and Napoleon.

Whoa

2009-06-25T08:19:00.001-07:00

Damn MTA

2009-06-24T09:09:00.001-07:00

How many times must the MTA make me late for work? Today I was sitting still down there for 20 minutes. This was my view. I am an extremely dissatisfied customer. Who resents hiked prices for not-improved services.

The down side

2009-06-23T18:42:00.002-07:00

Today I returned a dress that I loved. Because, if all goes according to plan, it will just be too big for me in a couple of months. I bought it about a month ago, and spent too much money on it-- I LOVED it. And it looked great on me. But for that investment, it had better be a dress to last me years, not months. So goodbye pounds, goodbye dress, hello South America. I should have been saving that money anyway.

While packing, I've come across some clothing I haven't worn since I left home. My work pants from W-S that were border-line tight when I left Pittsford? Quite loose! In the trash, my friends. That green corduroy jacket I have been wearing for years? Too big! Follow the pants! I feel great. Thank you NYC for being a walking city, a stairs city, and for the free gym memberships I have been provided.

Bed.Bugs.

2009-06-22T15:37:00.000-07:00

Hey Poppy!

2009-06-22T08:51:00.004-07:00

I have a love/hate relationship with Washington Heights.

Love: the community, neighborhood atmosphere. Once it's warm out, no one stays inside. Their living rooms are communal, on the sidewalk, in the streets, in the parks. Countless lawn chairs are unfolded on the sidewalk, radios and stereos accompany your walk home, children run chaotically around between countless groups of bingo-players, all the men are grouped around their tables of dominoes. They are serious about their dominoes. Soon the fire hydrants will be broken open to blast cool water into the street, but it's not quite hot enough for that yet (I finally saw the first one yesterday, so it's getting there). The sidewalks, streets, and parks are strewn with collective chicken bones. My dog has a hey-day. Everywhere I walk, any time of day or night, whether I have no makeup and my gym clothes on, or if I'm all done up for a night out, I unfailingly get hit on. "Hey Mommy!" "Hey white girl!" *lip-smack-kissy-sound* From guys around my age all the way up through the old men with no teeth, everyone checks you out. Does this get old? Yes. Did it make me uncomfortable at first? Absolutely. Is it nevertheless flattering? Yes. I don't quite understand the reasoning behind this incessant hitting-on; do they ever think it will get them anywhere? But it will never change. No matter how many times I pretend I can't hear them through my iPod. Dominican men will, however, help a girl out. If they see me struggling, carrying a heavy load of laundry up my stairs, it is out of my hands into theirs. I don't often give them the opportunity, but once in a while it is very appreciated. I can walk the streets by myself here at 4 in the morning and not feel at all in danger. Am I going to make a habit of it, or make myself conspicuous? Of course not. And is the reason for it generally a favorable one? Not really. But it is still useful. (I live in a two-block span of the highest drug trafficking in upper Manhattan. Because of this, drug lords keep a very tight rein on what goes on in these two blocks. There isn't a lot of trouble around here because that would attract police attention-- obviously not desirable from a drug lord's perspective.) There is a bodega in a two block radius open at all times in case you get the sudden urge for oreos, plantains, candy, or anything else unhealthy. There is generally a great deal of friendliness around here, especially if you speak Spanish. There is no way you can't feel a part of the neighborhood here, and I really appreciate that.

In my new place, I will still be in the Heights, but it's a more diversified Heights. Here, on 172nd and Amsterdam, Sarah, myself, and the two girls across the hall are the ONLY non-Dominicans. Once you get west of Broadway, this isn't quite the case. So the cultural identity is manifest to the extreme here. And that includes the aspects of the neighborhood that I am not so in love with.

Hate: THE EXCESSIVE NOISE ALL NIGHT LONG. The Dominican culture very much appreciates music, dancing, and having a good time. No matter how many people you live around or how late at night it is. In fact, I find it much easier to sleep during the day than at night. I have already expressed, in a previous post, how much I appreciate a love of music and dance in a culture. AND, I would prefer not to hear music blasting through my earplugs at 3 in the morning when I have to get up at 5:30 to go to work. I don't even have a typical 8-5 job like many New Yorkers do, which would make the situation all the more inconsiderate. This is what I am most excited to leave behind. My new street is ever so much quieter, and it will be such a relief. Currently, I lay down in bed on the weekends with quite a bit of stress, nervous that I won't be able to sleep that night. And dealing with possibly irritating clients for 8 hours the next day on three hours of sleep is pretty daunting. The typical Dominican practice is to open all the doors of a car parked on the street, and crank the music as loud as it will go. Which is EXTREMELY LOUD. Which is loud enough to rattle things on my desk. On the fourth floor. There are typically 2 cars on each block set up in this way. So I lay down, close my eyes, and I feel that bass BUM. bum bum. BUM. bum bum. Like a constant, off-kilter tapping on my heart. A police car rolls by, and they turn it down. And then they turn it up again. Obviously, not everywhere in the Heights is like this. I just happen to live in a pocket of 100% Dominicans. Who are living their culture loud and proud. And I would prefer to sleep at night, so I'm saying so long. I am also saying so long to the pungent smell of weed that constantly pervades the western half of my block. To the old men (every man) who will not leave me alone, whether it be with their mouths, gestures, or eyes. To the streets and park that are trashed every single night.

Some of these things may happen in other parts of Manhattan. And I am hoping (and expecting) that not all of them do simultaneously. Or that at least my ear plugs will keep enough of the noise out. Because I'm not asking for perfect silence, I am only asking for enough quiet that none of the noise will leak through my ear plugs, which I am perfectly willing to wear every night in exchange for enough sleep.

So it is, with a bittersweet goodbye, that I bid adieu to 172nd and Amsterdam. Despite everything, I am grateful for my 9 months here. It has been truly different from any other living situation I have ever experienced. I welcome that. I am really glad to have gotten to know some Dominican culture, and history, while living here. I have been happy in my very first own apartment. It was a nest perched up above a park, however infested it may have been. It was mine, and I loved it.

Hello 163rd and the annoyances I don't know exist yet.

hi Mia

2009-06-20T10:50:00.001-07:00

Well damn, there goes Ashley. I do not agree.

this is big

2009-06-20T10:23:00.002-07:00

I do NOT like Brandon. He rubs me the wrong way. And I DO NOT LIKE DISCO. And damn, this number was pretty fantastic.

And P.S. Ashley and Kupono are up there for me as a couple. Just an FYI. Even if they didn't quite rock their number this week, I think I can tell that they are fantastic dancers nevertheless.

new choreographer

2009-06-20T10:16:00.001-07:00

I don't like Jonathan, and I think this dance would have been much better in someone else's hands. And I like this new choreographer. Yes, I am a sucker for contemporary, and yes, I am a sucker for this song. AND the dance was beautiful.

(when we train, we say AND instead of BUT, and it is somewhat difficult to get out of that habit. Pardon me please.)

rolling over and going back to sleep

2009-06-20T08:35:00.004-07:00

OMG blog. What a week. I know there were other things I wanted to post about, and then I went into SOS, and I have no memory prior to it. What is SOS? It is the basic training program all Seph0ra employees attend (ideally), that teaches the basics of skincare, complexion, makeup, and client service. It is what I went to T the T in March to be able to teach. And boy did I teach. I worked 53 hours in 4 days, and that does not include the 4 hours a night that I prepared for my following day's presentations. Hello sleep deprivation.

And it was a success. I had a great time, the participants had a great time, and we all learned a lot. I always come away from a week of education refreshed in an exhausted-to-the-bones way. The education program is by far the best thing about this company. That is where the best people are, the best practices are, the best spirit is. And I get to go back and do another in about a week. Because I am good at this.

And before that, I am moving! That's right, I'm moving down to 163rd. We hate our landlords, and we are ditching them. I'll be saving some money and living in a nicer place because Sarah and I are sharing a room. And I feel great about it. I do not feel great about the actual packing and moving. AND it will be a vast improvement. Hello west side of Broadway. Hello white people. Hello nights without my cosmetic table reverberating with the bass. Hello less cockroaches and a Super in the building. Hello to quiet, book-filled existence.

Hello 5th floor walk-up. Yikes. (Why is this apartment so expensive?!) AND, no worries, I am still saving money by sharing a room. This place is cute guys. Who wants to help me walk boxes from 172nd to 163rd? I have a week to do it.

I want to go to there

2009-06-20T08:32:00.003-07:00

Exploring the relationship between art and nature? I must go there!

Wade Robson, how I have missed YOU!

2009-06-13T22:39:00.001-07:00

my other favorite.

one of my favorites this week

2009-06-13T22:35:00.001-07:00

OH SYTYCD! How I have missed you. And here comes the deluge of SYTYCD posts.

I miss watching this show with someone else and talking about it throughout (I definitely thought the judges could have been a litlte more harsh in a couple of cases...)

Loved this.

If you haven't, please do.

2009-05-26T04:52:00.002-07:00

I'm sure by now you've all heard how delightful the pilot was for this show 'Glee'. If you haven't, or just haven't bothered to watch it yet, please do. It will delight you. Seriously. I am speaking directly to everyone in my family here, except Chris maybe.

This and many other things make me miss singing a LOT. Of course I still sing, around the house, but I mean performing. At least voice lessons. I really wish I could afford them.

hee hee hee

2009-05-22T23:09:00.001-07:00

my roommate

2009-05-15T17:20:00.002-07:00

Sarah and I are mid-project at the moment which necessitated a photo shoot on the roof. Look at my pretty roommate! Makeup and photography brought to you by yours truly. That second shot was the first one I took as I was seeing what the lighting was like, but I like it.

2009-05-11T20:52:00.001-07:00

and I woke up today with very sore and achy muscles. I have too much to do for this nonsense!

I feel...

2009-05-10T20:26:00.003-07:00

really afflicted.

bed bugs

very painful infected cyst

allergies going crazy in the head-- eyes, nose, throat, consequent headache

allergies from kneeling on the floor at rehearsal last night? going crazy on the shins-- itching like mad ALL THE TIME

unmentionable on my foot, upon which I stand all day

eczema on my chin

This is too much. What's going on? Two months ago I had NONE of these afflictions. (though my roommate had bed bugs, so I knew that was inevitable.)

Please PLEASE go away. I don't have time for this nonsense!

Today I...

2009-05-08T06:35:00.004-07:00

consulted with a Solver of Medical Mysteries. I don't have one, I just have an infected cyst. But he saw me anyway because I don't have health insurance. WEIRD experience.

played in the candyland of Dylan's.

picked up a prescription for CHEAP (accidentally).

discovered some beautiful art in the Washington Heights Library (The Three Incestuous Sisters by Audrey Niffenegger). (Who knew the W.H. Library would have such an impressive selection?)

battled with a team of Perseus ne'er-do-wells. It was frustrating. Yes, yes, we certainly do deserve a rent reduction.

went to a conversation with Kenneth Branagh. I love smart people. If he asked me to marry him I would say yes. His two-minute scene brought me nigh to tears.

put the dishes in the dishwasher, and collapsed into my beddingless bed (bed bug exterminators coming tomorrow) to sleep on my side not afflicted with an infected cyst.

Naturally

2009-05-06T21:34:00.006-07:00

As I previously wrote about, I teamed up a couple of groups I'm involved with a couple of weeks ago for Earth Day. Earth Day NY, partnering with Green Drinks (a networking organization for eco-conscious Manhattanites and companies), were hosting a big Earth Day celebration/event, which would feature a fashion show. Well fashion shows go hand in hand with Seph0ra and its makeup artists. I thought doing the makeup with our plethora of natural cosmetics was a fantastic idea, and then setting up a table for mini-makeovers with natural cosmetics, and maybe even throw in some info about natural skincare, even better. My store manager passed my idea on to corporate, who loved it and supported by calling on the Seph0ra Pro Team and sending lots of Natural samples to hand out. I finagled lots of goodies from the generous Maragaret of Cargo Plantlove, and voila! Success!
The furniture showroom wherein the event took place. It was gorgeous.

These are not my pictures by the way. I stupidly left my camera at home because I didn't think I would have any time to use it. These are from a photographer who comes to all Green Drinks event, and all pictures can be found on their website.

The models we made-over were first-timers. This is a Before shot. My model is on the left.

My model being given the once-over by our leader, Nikki, from the Pro Team. She created the Look and approved all models before they hit the runway.

That's mine on the left! I was a little nervous about being there because, as you know, I've been in Skin for a while, and never been given "real" makeup artistry training. But I fit right in. It was really fun to do a fashion show that had a Look to recreate. I'm a little hooked, I've got to be honest. I received special praise for my work on the cheekbones.

The artists.

The main floor. There was a basement, and the top floor which you can see here, where we were located. You can't really tell in this picture, but there were LOTS of people there. Other companies were there too like Lush, plenty of organic food companies, and organic alcohol (one of my jobs at Earth Day NY was, incidentally, to find companies to donate alcohol to the evening. So I reached out to organic alcohol companies. Thank you organic vodka company I don't now remember, how generous of you to get everyone drunk without the use of herbicides, pesticides, or insecticides. Success.) And of course the organic clothing store whose wares were displayed in the fashion show.

All of the models wore recycled newspaper headdresses, which I of course loved.

Look how proud I am of my work!

This was my favorite "garment" as they say.

The experience was fun, successful (we touched a lot of people and talked up our Naturals quite a bit), and definitely one of my highlights with this company.

Work is keeping me pretty busy at the moment. This next week I get to teach my entire cast "Service Express", a new consultation program the company is rolling out. I will be teaching them three looks. I am not a Color Expert. Go me. I will also be hosting Master Classes at our store starting next week or the following week for our clients, featuring a Mermaid Summer look, a classic smoky eye, and a trendy *new* look with a new palette off our shelves. We will be doing these every week from now on!

I am participating in this:

2009-05-04T21:45:00.003-07:00

AIDS Walk New York, the world’s largest AIDS fundraising event, benefits Gay Men’s Health Crisis (GMHC) and over 30 other tri-state area AIDS service organizations. GMHC is the nation’s oldest and most comprehensive AIDS service organization, serving approximately 15,000 people living with HIV and AIDS and their families each year, and countless more through its prevention and advocacy work locally and nationally.

Follow this link to visit my personal web page and help me in my efforts to support AIDS Walk New York.

Le Soleil

2009-04-27T19:06:00.005-07:00

Today was 81 degrees and sunny. It was amazing. I walked around Central Park for not-long-enough (20 minutes). I had been outside for maybe 1 1/2 hours in all, much of it spent in the shade, and I started to turn a little pink. After putting on a little sunscreen this morning as always. It got me to thinking.

A week or two ago a mystery commenter asked me to write a blog about sunscreens (being an official Seph0ra consultant), since summer is coming up. BAM, delivered.

First, here are some fun facts I have learned through my company's education program:

- up to 90% of the visible changes commonly attributed to aging are actually caused by the SUN. The NUMBER ONE thing you can do to prevent aging is use a sunscreen every day.

-melanoma, the deadliest form of skin cancer, is the second most commonly diagnosed cancer in young adults aged 15-29.

- one blistering sunburn in childhood or adolescence more than doubles a person's chances of developing melanoma later in life.

- one in five Americans will develop skin cancer during the course of a lifetime.

The majority (94%) of UV rays that reach the earth are UVA, the rays that caused skin wrinkling, leathering, sagging, fine lines, uneven skin tone, hyperpigmentation, breakdown of collagen and elastin, etc. UVA rays can and do penetrate through cloud cover, and UVA rays are also emitted by computer screens and indoor lighting, which is why it's important to wear SPF EVERY DAY (not just in the summer, and not just when you go outside). UVB rays are the rays responsible for burning. (So when a tanning salon tells you that your skin won't be harmed by the rays they are using, the UVA rays which don't burn, what they're really telling you is that the rays they are using are AGING rays so you will lose that lovely elasticity in your skin all the sooner. LOTS OF DAMAGE, DON'T GO TO A TANNING SALON.)

The SPF rating tells you how long the sunscreen has the ability to protect, not the potency of the protection. Reapply EVERY TWO HOURS as a general rule. The recommended amount is 1 TBS for the face, 1 oz. for the body. Using less will cut down the amount of time you can wait before reapplying. SPF ratings apply to UVB rays, which cause skin to burn, and not to UVA rays. Therefore, in order to get adequate protection against both rays, you must use a sunscreen that provides broad-spectrum protection, not just a sunscreen with a high SPF. All physical sunscreens (titanium dioxide, zinc oxide) are automatically broad spectrum. Not so with chemical sunscreens, they usually protect against UVA or UVB, not both simultaneously. This is why products often have more than one sunscreen ingredient in them.

Using a moisturizer that has SPF 15, and a foundation that has SPF 15, does not = SPF 30. It will only equal the highest SPF in one or the other of the products, in this case 15.

Here are some of my favorite sun products, in no particular order:

This is the must-have-in-bag-at-all-times item. It's a powder that you can buff on over your makeup. In the morning I think it's easiest to slather on a good lotiony sunscreen, and after putting so much effort into my makeup in the morning, why would I want to disturb said makeup with a sunscreen lotion? Enter PTR Mineral SPF30! And it mattifies to boot.

This was our Best of Seph0ra sunscreen last year (and the year before I believe), which I think is saying a lot. That's when our clients vote for their favorite sunscreen. It's easy, powerful, and doesn't weigh heavily on the skin. Shiseido in general has a lot of fantastic sunscreening products, such as a sunscreen for the delicate eye area, a sunscreen for the lips, (one of the areas most prone to skin cancer since people forget to protect it and some lip glosses and lipsticks augment the unhealthy effects of the sun), and sunscreens for the face and body.

For those clients who prefer to stick to Natural skincare products (myself included), my favorite natural sunscreen is by Ole Henriksen. He actually created two, the one you see here for dry skin with green tea and grapeseed oil in it (great antioxidants for further free-radical protection), and shea butter for moisture. And one with chamomile and algae extract for oily skin. They feel great, and look great, and are free of parabens, sulfates, synthetic fragrance, synthetic dyes, petrochemicals, phthalates, and triclosan.

For those with oily or acne-prone skin this is a great choice. Dermadoctor always has a great blend of ingredients that utilizes plenty of antioxidants for free-radical protection. This product also has willow bark extract, the natural form of salicylic acid, to help clean out your pores. And it mattifies to keep your skin from getting oily. Very multi-tasky.

This is an easy choice for the body. The bottle sprays 360 degrees, so you can turn it upside down while you spray your back or your legs. Quick and easy.

This is not a sunscreen. This is the best after-sun product. It's a Yogurt Cooling Gel from Korres. Korres is one of my favorite skincare brands because they're natural, and they're from Greece. Korres started in the pharmacies of Greece, and uses homeopathic remedies from its homeland. Yogurt is very soothing and hydrating for the skin. After a few days of 60-90 degree weather in NYC, countless people have been walking through our store doors with sunburns, and I just want to hand them all this. It's so soothing, especially if you keep it in the refrigerator, and helps a burn heal faster and with less peeling.

Bottom line: wear sunscreen every day, and reapply regularly. Your skin and vanity will thank you in 20 years, and you will spend less in the future on anti-aging products trying to fix the damage you let happen to you.

words words

2009-04-22T21:44:00.004-07:00

At BYU I dreamt of having the luxury of just popping into the bookstore and being able to buy any book that I wanted. For some reason this is what would most comfort me on rough days. Sometimes I would let myself buy a book, and then return it a few days later just so I could alleviate that desire. One of the books I picked up was this one, The Book of Embraces by Eduardo Galeano. It was sitting on an endcap, a small special display, because (I believe) the author was visiting the university. After reading a few pages, I thought it was beautiful and imaginative. Enchanting really, like the cover says. I have wished, years later, that I kept this book, which I never even read all the way through (I wouldn't return a book if I had read it all, I'm not one of those people.) I'm sure I just felt like I needed that $15 for more practical things. Years down the road I couldn't even remember the name of the book, nor the name of the author. While browsing the Latin America section at one of my favorite bookstores, I found it! Fate! And here it is, in my home, fresh from the library. I think I will buy it though eventually. Here's one of my favorite anecdotes so far:

Celebration of the Human Voice/2

"Their hands were tied or handcuffed, yet their fingers danced, flew, drew words. The prisoners were hooded, but leaning back, they could see a bit, just a bit, down below. Although it was forbidden to speak, they spoke with their hands. Pinio Ungerfeld taught me the finger alphabet, which he had learned in prison without a teacher.
"Some of us had bad handwriting," he told me. "Others were masters of calligraphy."
The Uruguayan dictatorship wanted everyone to stand alone, everyone to be no one: in prisons and barracks, and throughout the country, communication was a crime.
"Some prisoners spent more than ten years buried in solitary cells the size of coffins, hearing nothing but clanging bars or footsteps in the corridors. Fernandez Huidobro and Mauricio Rosencof, thus condemned, survived because they could talk to each other by tapping on the wall. In that way they told of dreams and memories, fallings in and out of love; they discussed, embraced, fought; they shared beliefs and beauties, doubts and guilts, and those questions that have no answer.
When it is genuine, when it is born of the need to speak, no one can stop the human voice. When denied a mouth, it speaks with the hands or the eyes, or the pores, or anything at all. Because every single one of us has something to say to the others, something that deserves to be celebrated or forgiven by others."

Don't be scared, just watch.

2009-04-20T08:41:00.002-07:00

even more?

2009-04-16T22:20:00.002-07:00

A couple of pictures of me Sarah took.

We like how it almost looks like I am worshipping in this last one, or like it brought me to my knees. I was really just taking a picture. But nicely shot, Sarah!

Freedom Tunnel Part II

2009-04-16T19:44:00.005-07:00

I love how this one almost looks black and white. The tunnel was very dark in some places.

Translation: No More Hate.

My favorite shot.

The entire tunnel is somewhat surreal with its chiaroscuro lighting, creating a gallery for the paintings on the wall.
A glimpse of the outside world.

I like how it looks like she's disappearing in the light in this next one.
And then my camera died. And let me tell you I was not happy because the best graffiti was coming up. Graffiti that is truly art. Sarah and I will be returning so I can shoot that soon. Keep your eyes peeled.

Freedom Tunnel Part I

2009-04-16T18:51:00.006-07:00

The other day, in looking at High Line information, I stumbled upon another well-kept Manhattan secret: Freedom Tunnel. And of course I wanted to go. So on the first sunny day off I've had in a long time, Sarah and I headed into the creepy subterranean depths of the Tunnel. It is now being used on a regular basis for trains, but was at one time abandoned, and sheltered hundreds of homeless people. The cops cleared out the shanty town, and some incredible graffiti has built up over the past 15-20 years, including that of a "Graffiti Legend", Chris Pape.

At first I insisted that we should take Alfie with us, as the tunnel seemed like a perfect opportunity and place to attack/rape/kill two unsuspecting girls. Alas, Alfie works normal hours. So out we go, armed with a knife and cell phones.

After 10-15 minutes wandering around trying to figure out where the entrance was, we headed up an off-ramp, down a wooded bank, and through this conveniently cut doorway in a chain link fence.

This tunnel is off-limits. As will be obvious to you soon, plenty of people head in.

This is how we felt heading into the dark, long, creepy tunnel. Sarah: excited! Me: excited and scared.
Trains periodically roar through. They are somewhat silent until they're very close to you, so it's a little dangerous.

Someone set up this little shrine near the entrance with duck and book. Book's title: Expect Nothing, A Zen Guide.

We were expecting people to be living down there, but this gentleman startled us nevertheless. We spoke with him for a few minutes, his name is John. He's been living down there for 14 years. He lived in the Park for 7 years before that. He was very informative, and very nice. I was in obvious need of a tripod since I refuse to use a flash.

Some cautionary words.

some Reasons to look forward to summer:

2009-04-16T09:57:00.004-07:00

in no particular order

I am actually watching this one tonight, a friend had a copy of DVD. I am generally vehemently against film pirating, but he had it... right there... and it was free for me... (yes I am ashamed)
The Time Traveler's Wife. Guuuuuuuuuuhh!!! THIS HAD BETTER BE GOOD!!! I wish it were Rachel McAdams and Paul Bettany, but whatever casting director...
Have you seen the latest trailer for this? IT LOOKS DELICIOUSLY AND BACK CRAWLINGLY DARK. I. can't. wait. I shut my eyes already just thinking about the end. The trailer looks pretty effects-heavy, which I am generally against, but it does look like the director was influenced by Alfonso Cuaron's exploration into and interest in creepy under-water movement. I approve of that.
Oh why hello Hayao Miyazaki, another delightful film for us to feast on? Why thank you!
My favorite part of the trailer is a tie between Maggie Gyllenhaal and Allison Janney.
Guuuuuuuhh!!! My toes curl!!!

You already know my thoughts. Can't wait for the Fall.

Looking forward to this.

2009-04-16T09:33:00.001-07:00

Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Underestimated. (See "The Lookout"). Quite attractive. This film looks absolutely charming.

I must find this immediately and walk it. before it is all structured.

2009-04-14T10:03:00.001-07:00

Thank you Emily for bringing this to my attention.

Philosophy

2009-04-11T11:46:00.002-07:00

The truth of the green tree

in spring and of Earth's crust

is proven beyond a doubt:

the planets nourish us

despite eruptions

and the sea offers us fish

despite her quaking:

we are slaves of the earth

that is also governess of air.

Walking around an orange

I spend more than one life

echoing the earth's sphere:

geography and ambrosia:

juices the color of hyacinth

and the white scent of woman

like blossoms of flour.

Nothing is gained by flying

to escape this globe

that trapped you at birth.

And we need to confess our hope

that understanding and love

come from below, climb

and grow inside us

like onions, like oak trees,

like tortoises or flowers,

like countries, like races,

like roads and destinations.

~Pablo Neruda

whistle while you work

2009-04-10T08:35:00.002-07:00

You all know where I work. I try not to say the name specifically because heaven forbid someone googles the name and land on my blog and I've said something to offend.

That being said, sometimes I enjoy my job, sometimes I don't. I've been with the company approximately a year and a half, which is impressive for retail and me. Retail and I don't get along. I could not have imagined being with a retail company for so long but this store is different. They have a fantastic education program, and I saw that as my opportunity immediately. When I was applying for jobs after moving back to Pittsford, one of my priorities in the search was to find a job I would learn a lot in, because that makes everything more interesting, and usually more worthwhile. I was looking for a filler job, something that would make me enough money to move me out of upstate NY. And my current job has done more than I would have expected, I kind of hit the jack pot for filler jobs. I have learned an incredible amount. First about makeup, then about skincare, obviously about teaching/training with last month's experience, and a lot about general interactions in a work environment. In the last year and a half I have moved myself up a totem pole, from clueless holiday hire, to Skincare Expert, to being considered as a Color Lead in Pittsford (I would have been selected if I hadn't moved away), to Product Expert in the first flagship store of Manhattan. All in a year and a half. And trust me, I think I should be more. It is frustrating to work with certain leads on a daily basis at my store and I'm pretty sure I could do their job better.

Daily, my job is frustrating. I love the idea of teaching my clients about skincare and changing their lives when they finally find a skincare regimen that works for them and gives them the results they want. It's extremely gratifying to help someone with something that so immediately boosts or drags down their self-confidence, or the way they see themselves. But the majority of clients I interact with at the store don't want my help, and make it rudely obvious, or simply demand a sample be made for them (no 'please'), seeing me as a Retail Worker, far lower on the human social ladder than themselves. I am an actual person, you know.

I thought becoming a P.E. would alleviate some of this frustration-- giving me other projects to work on, projects that tapped into my enthusiasm for teaching. And to some degree it has. I've been back a month and there have been a couple of incredibly frustrating glitches in my leadership's communication, resulting in a couple of missed OPPORTUNITIES for me. But whatever, I try not to think about it, fix the problem, and move on. And I find that there are a few new fun job requirements I've made for myself.

In addition to trainings I do at the store, last week I conducted a class at NYU on basic skincare and makeup. Myself and a makeup artist from Soho spent 2 1/2 hours teaching a group of about 25 undergraduates, ending up with a Day-to-Night look. It was a lot of fun, and I hope these things happen more often.

I volunteer for Earth Day NY who is having an EcoNight coming up. An eco fashion show will be involved so we thought Seph0ra may like to get involved. The last month has been Naturals month at the store, I am the designated Naturals Captain. I am in general passionate about Natural skincare and makeup, and am very impressed by how the company has supported this movement in the last year. We have 11 Natural skincare brands, 5 Natural color brands, and 2 Natural fragrance brands. That is incredible! And the widest diversity in Naturals of any retail store I've heard of. 2 of those companies are organic, even better. So with all of this Natural love flying around, I proposed to my store manager that the our store get involved with EcoNight. Do the makeup for the fashion show, and set up a little Makeover Station so that some of the 400 attendees could get a Natural quickeye done, and peruse our selection of Natural skincare and makeup. A fantastic opportunity to get awareness of our Natural selections out to the crowd who generally prefer it-- the eco-conscious. This is basically a big, fun, networking event. My manager thought is was a fantastic idea, sent my proposal to corporate, and I just spoke with the corporate marketing manager for Seph0ra. Corporate is supporting, sending the Seph0ra Pro Team of makeup artists, and samples for everyone!

And I've got to say, I'm a little impressed with my initiative and innovation here. This has turned into much more than just a retail job lately, even though 9 days out of 10 that's what it feels like. Damn rude clients. Here's to trying to make going to work more fun, more compelling, less of a daily dread. Because while I'm here I might as well be making the best of it, building up my resume, and learning the most that I can.

Project: Latin American literature

2009-04-03T20:30:00.006-07:00

I would like to familiarize myself with Latin America a bit better. The way to a culture's heart is through its art. So here's what's on my reading list in no particular order:

I would like the books on this list to be written by Latin American writers, and to take place there as well. The Alchemist takes place in Spain/traveling to Egypt I believe, but it's The Alchemist.
Love the movie, time to delve a little deeper perhaps.

Historical fiction, love it.
Ok this just happened to be my next book out of the library, and it's by a Dominican author! And part of it takes places in the Heights! No, that is not in Latin America, obviously, but it is by Latin American author and how can I say no to the Heights? It counts!
Pretty much any major writer in Latin America that came after Gabriel Garcia Marquez is hailed as the next G.G.M. Exhibit A: Roberto Bolano.
I am not in general a huge fan of poetry. I LOVE a piece I stumble upon here and there, and I love the idea of poetry, but forging my way through piece after piece that does not resonate with me til I get to the one that does is tiring. And makes me feel stupid for not resonating with a hailed Poet. But I think Neruda and I will get along.
Aaaaah. I have read a good chunk of this already. I don't know if I'll get back to it, it's a big one. Obviously incredibly important. We'll see.

I've already done Lorca (a playwright and poet I enjoy very much), so that's one off the list.

If you have any suggestions, please leave a comment!

this looks good

2009-04-03T18:56:00.001-07:00

Thanks again, Dave.

2009-04-01T15:23:00.002-07:00

What a creepy day. It's grey, dusky, and rainy. And I just finished watching 'El Orfanato". And the lights are low. When I look out my window all I see is bare treetops. New York is inherently creepy, it's so old.

I trust you.

2009-03-31T23:40:00.004-07:00

I laughed out loud a few times today reading a brief description of Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark, a musical slated to hit Broadway in January 2010.

Spiderman, a musical. Doesn't sound like a good idea, but ok. A $40 Million musical. ?!?!?!?! That's pretty much the most expensive musical ever, btw. U2 wrote the music for it. And they invented a new villain because all of the comic book ones obviously weren't enough... Swiss Miss. Whose costume includes rotating knives? This all sounds pretty wacked out to me.

And the director is none other than the amazing Julie Taymor.

Which is when it occurred to me: this could be the worst idea ever, or it could be A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. Because Julie's on board.

Here's a description of a sort of preview they did this past week. I'm excited.

Watch this immediately.

2009-03-25T17:11:00.001-07:00

You guys, this trailer makes me want to cry and laugh in the middle. It gives me chills. It makes me yearn to have been a part of the process. What a fantastically crafted trailer, and what a magical and meaningful looking film. Thank you Spike Jonze, Dave Eggers, and co. I can't wait.

Lennox and the Bear

2009-03-24T22:34:00.003-07:00

Lennox loved his Carebear. A lot. He would spend hours trying to chew its ears off and tear the button off its butt. He would toss that bear high into the air, and bring him to me for a friendly game of tug-of-war.

This is Lenno and his bear, in their favorite perch, gazing out the spare bedroom's window onto Amsterdam. What good times.

Until Lenno ate that bear.

He made sure every last piece of stuffing was sufficiently dead.

Don't eat your friends. Just don't do it.

Something in this picture is not the same

2009-03-24T22:26:00.001-07:00

Am I in Xanadu?

2009-03-23T19:31:00.006-07:00

After my big trip and disruption of normal programming, I finally had a day off unhindered by any sort of Plan. So my plan was to get back to "normal". Including, primarily, a trip to Whole Foods and a much-needed trip to the gym. Hahaha.

My day was delightful, and probably needed, and it didn't adhere to my plan. It included a trip to the dog park (dogs are so therapeutic, they get you out of the house, into the sunshine, in the company of other nice people and animals), catching up on TV (goodbye Big Love), tidying up the common living areas, grocery shopping (not to Whole Foods, but to Gristedes which is closer and not as fulfilling), and cooking, baking, movie-watching. And eating Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

Sarah and I have visited a certain bar/restaurant in the Village which serves a certain Most Delicious Sandwich in the World Either of Us Have Ever Tasted. It is a panini. It has eggplant, goat cheese, and garlic. The combination is simple and heavenly. After stumbling upon it's existence on a previous outing months ago, we returned last week specifically for said sandwich. We had literally been talking about this sandwich for at least three months. Both times we've split it, and regretted doing so as it is so delicious we could both consume five whole sandwiches in one sitting. So today we had the brilliant idea of recreating the sandwich in our very own kitchen. And I must say that my first experiment with eggplant (did you know it is technically a berry?), as weird as this produce item is, was a success. We need better bread, less salt, and ideally a panini-press, and we are in business creating the Most Delicious Sandwich in the World every week for our very own consumption. You can come over, we'll share.

And what is a day off at home without baking up a little vegan treat? Today it was Apple Peanut Butter Caramel Bars. Oh, pardon me, let me wipe that drool off the keyboard. I think the title sums up the experience.

And throughout the kitchen marathon: Before Sunrise and Before Sunset playing in the background. What could be better?

Lately we've been thinking of moving out of the Heights. But a small experience today made me very glad we stayed. Walking to the grocery store on St. Nicholas, we suddenly passed a cloud of glittery confetti. A CLOUD. Not some confetti sweeping down the street, a CLOUD of glitter and confetti traveling down the street. Out of nowhere. It reminded me of that episode of Ducktales where that cloud is blowing around town, and the Beagle Boys are vanishing everything with a ray gun. The pieces soon separated from the pack, swirling around the feet of weary New Yorkers, rolling down the pavement, and gradually scattering. We were mesmerized.

Washington Heights is a magical place. Or I live in a musical.

I'm J.P. Morgan my friends, the wealthiest man on this earth...

2009-03-10T12:28:00.003-07:00

points if you connect that to Ragtime.

Two things that people said about the Train the Trainer program are: it is crazy intense, and you will leave a different person. It was certainly crazy intense for a lot of people there. I think that the role of trainer comes naturally to me, and I have been unexpectedly well prepared for not only the job I've been doing for the past year and a half, but especially for the role of educator the way Seph0ra teaches it. This is because of my performance background. So it was not as intense for me. And I did leave a different person.

The program not only teaches you presentation and coaching skills, it also teaches you how to communicate differently, which is something that you do constantly, and therefore affects your entire life, not just your professional life. Not only has the week affected me in that way, it also taught me more about myself. How I learn, how I relate to others, how I behave and react under stress, the power of positive thinking. I'm sure as I distance myself from the experience I will realize other ways the week changed me.

So the week was a resounding success. I was given the title of Product Expert, I received excellent feedback, and I have potentially made a place for myself in the world of Seph0ra Education if I continue to pursue it. I will actually be giving an hour presentation on the company's initiative on natural skincare, cosmetics, and fragrance on Sunday to my entire cast-- leadership included. And the head of Seph0ra education will be attending. That is a BIG deal. Our presentations this last week were ten minutes each, so Sunday will be a big jump. I am just out of the gate, and I am already meeting, and will be succeeding, in a big challenge. Suffice it to say, this week will be a busy one for me. No resting time after my 70+ hour work week.

Add to that the potential of moving to a different apartment. More on that to come.

the sound of birds and tipico

2009-03-10T12:05:00.003-07:00

I think it always feels good to get out of the city. And thank heavens it feels good coming back. After my quickest flight from coast to coast ever yesterday, I returned to a city still trekking through the last dregs of winter. After spending a week in a city where there were COLORS popping out of the ground, I thought this return may be a let-down. On the contrary, it felt great to get back home. And it feels like home. Soon after I lugged my 49 lb. bag and various carry-ons up my three flights of stairs, I popped out to grab some lunch at Jou Jou's. Walking through my neighborhood, I realized that's what it felt like, my neighborhood. In my city. I have made a place for myself here and I belong here. I have a snug, light-filled apartment of my very own. With two dear friends and the loveliest rascal of a dog I'm so glad we took in off the streets. This is mine, this is my life, and I made it.

Thank you artsy people.

2009-03-10T11:44:00.001-07:00

yummy in my tummy

2009-03-02T22:26:00.005-07:00

aaaaah, San Francisco. It's temperate, and the air isn't bone dry. 50-60 degrees. No coats. A scmorgasbord of architecture. Chillax is in the air. THERE ARE LEAVES ON THE TREES. When I saw that, I didn't want to tear my eyes away. My eyes were just eating it. Last night, coming home from dinner, we passed a little landscaped not-even-garden outside of an office building-- I almost dived over the railing into the green vegetation and flowers. No joke. But I was pretty sure my fellow Sephora girls whom I'd just met would think I was a little odd. I am supposed to be making friends, after all.

One of the most delightful things about traveling on Sephora's money is that they give me a per diem for dinner every day. As you know, I've been laying off the eating out lately, so I am pretty much in heaven right now what with leaves on the trees and ocean and chillax attitudes in addition to eating out every night. I am staying in the Nob Hill area I think, which is supposed to be pretty trendy-- there are plenty of great restaurants around and my doorman seems to know where all of them are. Last night we wanted Thai, he sent us to :

Delicious. Local ingredients (how many times can I say I love you San Francisco?) And since I have a per diem, I can get an appetizer AND dessert. Talk about spoiled.

Tonight we wanted sushi, doorman sent us to:

Barley tea + edamame+ miso soup + Pokemon roll + Philadelphia roll + fresh mango mousse with fruit + all organic + very hip atmosphere = a very contented Laura. I will probably be visiting again before I leave.

Oh yes, and my work is going fine. Today we learned about learning styles and presentation skills. Everyone promises me that it's going to get INTENSE, so let me enjoy my sushi in peace. Here's a little picture of the binder I found sitting on my desk this morning:

I included my hand so you could maybe get a sense of the size of this binder to scale. It is the most massive binder I've ever seen. I feel that it will add 15 lbs. to my suitcase on the way home. Good times.

I never want to leave San Francisco.

2009-03-01T22:07:00.000-07:00

"I've made a huge mistake"

2009-02-21T14:59:00.003-07:00

Well guys, I think the short hair days for me will relatively soon be over. For the past six months I have been growing my hair out, but when I was at my haircut today I impulsively decided to go back to short. I'd always liked it before, and I was sick of those days when my long hair just wouldn't cooperate. But I regret it. I really do. I think I am a long-hair girl now. Or will be when this grows out. Guuuuuh, I hate haircut regrets! I want my hair back!

I guess it's kind of silly how much love I have for fictional characters...

2009-02-16T18:20:00.004-07:00

I've been rewatching Six Feet Under for a month or two. I love this show. This round, this has been one of my favorite little scenes, the very end of season 4. It occurs a while after David has a traumatic experience that he's a having a difficult time dealing with. He's speaking with his father who died a few years ago.

dance dance revolution

2009-02-16T14:00:00.004-07:00

Here in my hermitage I am a fan of HBO, as any repeat reader of this blog would know. I am really enjoying this season of Big Love, and I thought this simple scene from last week's episode was especially fantastic. I am sorry to say that I can apparently no longer post youtube videos straight onto the blog, so you'll have to do a little work in clicking over there.

A little background: this character's mother recently passed away, this is apparently how she's dealing with it. I love how sweaty she is, her dance moves, and her face. I think dancing is so beautiful. The general perception of dancing is that people dance to have a good time. If you just happened to pass by this character's door and didn't pause or look closer, you would think she is just dancing for fun. But here it is an expression of so many different, painful, complex emotions. She's having a difficult time processing, and trying to exorcise them in this physical manifestation. I think that translation from feeling something to the impulse of dance is gorgeous.

This weekend I went dancing twice (which was unusually but delightfully frequent). Saturday I went to a club for Valentine's/my birthday in Hell's Kitchen. Sunday I went to a Dominican club in Brooklyn to see a friend's gig, he plays merengue tipico. Different kinds of dancing. Some people go dancing for the opportunity to get close with a member of whatever gender they're attracted to. Some people, like me, love the exorcism. To lose (and find) myself in dancing. My roommate dances to feel a part of the music (only if it's good), or for it to feel a part of her. My friend Sara dances because it's in her, this vibrant, powerful force, and it has to come out.

When I was at that club in Brooklyn last night, watching people my age get out on the dance floor and dance merengue or salsa, or whatever latin derivative, with each other I thought, how sad that modern white American culture doesn't grow up with dance in their life like this culture does. Like so many other cultures in the world do. Yeah, we have ballet and hip-hop, but I mean dance that everyone grows up doing on a regular basis with each other as a cultural, social activity and expression. It just seems so healthy. It's something that I feel we have missed out on. It brings people together and gets them moving. I keep coming back to this idea of dance as exorcism because as much fun as it is, as much as dance can be an expression of just pure joy and happiness, I think it not only gets your body moving but your emotions as well. As much as science would like to separate the two, or explain one with the other, I think the synergy between the two is inexplicable, unpredictable, and, for lack of a better word, magical.

Dance used to be much more prominent in "white" culture. Country dances and balls in the 1800's all the way through swing in the '30s and '40s and even in my parents' generation. Even though they're not as earthy as other cultural dance, it still got people together and moving. I guess it's a recent loss, one that's occurred as other forms of entertainment emerged. I feel like my generation has really missed out on this.

Hermit Crab

2009-02-01T20:16:00.002-07:00

My days of living while only marginally affected by the blasted economy are over. When I moved to New York I imagined scrimping and saving. Happily, that wasn't necessary, and I enjoyed buying a salad or sushi for my lunch break almost every day (not only was this convenient but also very healthy), while still having enough money to occasionally eat out for dinner, go to a movie, or even a play. Sure, I wasn't saving a cent, but you guys; I LOVE to eat out.

I love that someone else makes this delicious food and brings it to me. I love the constant water refills. I love the atmosphere (hopefully). I love the sociality of it. Just sitting down and talking and eating and drinking with a friend or friends? What could be bett

er?! I love how grown-up it feels to meet for lunch. I love not worrying about money enough to grant the luxury of eating out. I love the ENDLESS options in NYC. I love the regulars. Oh how I love the regulars. The places that you love so much that you want to go there again and again until you've gotten the chance to try every option and decide which one is the best. Friends, add something to my list of favorite things to do: it is Eating Out.

I wasn't eating out all the time. But I was eating out more

than once a week, and this was in addition to the afore-mentioned salad or sushi I would purchase for my lunch break. And can you blame me? In a city where you can get anything and everything from anywhere in the world? And you're a twentysomething and friends from work frequently ask you to go out for a bite? Who wants to ever say no to th

at? Well thank you for ending this pipe dream for me, place-of-employment-that-

shall-remain-nameless.

This week they have halved my hours. HALVED. My hours? They are cut in half. What a karate kick to the gut. And the bank account. And eventually the savings account.

Well, I am trying to make the best of my misfortune. I am not going to quit the place-of-employment because 1) I need money 2)despite how they are currently treating me I like the place enough not to hate my life while spending half my days there

and 3)they are sending me to San Francisco in March for a training program so I can't leave them until that happens at the very least.

Before you ask, yes, I have had a sit-down serious conversation with my store manager about this situation. And no, it obviously did not lead to a permanent solution. I just have to hang in there.

And perhaps get a new job. Here's hoping that Whole Foods would like to hire another part-time cashier, because I would sure like to have a discount on the only items that I am now allowing myself to purchase. And heaven knows, I really love Whole Foods.

Speaking of which, I am now, obviously unable to eat out. Happily, this coincides with a major effort I started a couple of weeks ago to eat healthy aga

in! Like, really healthy. With a giftcard to B&N I bought myself these three books the other night to usher me into this new era of preparing whole and healthy foods for myself:

Ok, that last one isn't healthy per-say. But it does allow me to make healthier and cheaper choices by using my own oven.

I am loving Animal, Vegetable, Miracle you guys. I definitely recommend it to anyone even remotely interested in farmers markets, our culture's food choices, eating organically or locally, leaving a smaller carbon footprint, or eating healthy period. It is really easy to read, and honestly more of a page turner for me than some fiction I've read recently. I am so excited for the Union Square farmer's market to start up again. This is weeks and weeks away and is only the tip of the iceberg of my SAD. But Whole Foods definitely embraces the eating locally effort. If you don't know, the book is written by a mother of a family that vowed to eat only what they could grow themselves or acquire locally for a year, and includes tons of research and exploration into the American food culture.

So here's to a new life of staying in, cooking for myself, exploring new delicious vegan recipes, pouncing on giftcards like they are blocks of gold, and all in all enjoying the life of an urban hermit. Hopefully not in a crabby way, but I'm sure some days will get there. Especially in this dead of winter.

It's a good things I have a couple of new roommates to entertain me:

This is the Craigslist roommate's dog, Scout. She's been here a month and half but is moving away soon. :( She's so well-behaved it's like having a cat.
This is Lennox. He was a sort-of-stray that my roommate brought home last week. He's not quite fully-grown and is a complete rascal.

You would not believe the knock-down drag-out play fights these two have all. day. long.

2009-01-03T23:32:00.002-07:00

I will write a real post soon, but I just wanted to let you all know that you should go see Rachel Getting Married. I am so glad I finally saw it in theaters and supported this film. Great writing, directing, cinematography, acting. Great choices all around.

Plus I bought my first Little Black Dress for New Year's. How grown up I feel!

Follow-up

2008-12-11T23:59:00.004-07:00

Loved Slumdog Millionaire you guys. And it was indeed the most perfect follow-up to Shantaram.

I love Danny Boyle's films. I think there are some directors and some films that just speak my language, and Danny Boyle is one of those directors. This story, told by most other people, would have been trite or lame. In Boyle's hands it was beautiful, unique, and visually stunning. It's one of those movies that left me smiling for hours afterward, and supports my faith in believing in the good of mankind, even though so much crap goes on in the world, because Boyle does not spare us of the bad in Mumbai. He walks us right through it. Over and over again. And we still see goodness and love despite it all.

P.S. This film is rated R, but I'm a little upset about it because I don't think it should have been. Usually I couldn't care less about ratings, but this rating means that most people in my family, and many Mormons won't see it. Which is a shame, because I think anyone in my family would really enjoy this film. There is no swearing, sex, or graphic violence. There is some violence, but it's more like you know it's happening, you don't really see it. It's not graphic. What. a. shame.

P.P.S. I think I'm in love with that boy in the movie. And the actor was excellent. I loved watching every second of his performance. So honest.

Oh Danny Boyle

2008-12-09T13:20:00.001-07:00

My roommate just showed me this trailer last night. How was this not on my radar until now?! My film bat-sense has failed me. It is in theaters, and I will be seeing it Thursday night. I can't wait. Sometimes I watch trailers and I KNOW I will love the film. It is perfect timing too, I just finished Shantaram which explores the slums of Mumbai, among other things, so this is a fitting movie to follow that great piece of literature (go buy it, you will love it.)

P.S. a film adaptation of Shantaram=very bad idea. Johnny Depp, why are you doing this? And Mira Nair to direct? No thank you.

P.P.S. A good Christmas present for Laura? One of those movie ticket books where the tickets end up costing $7 instead of $12.50. Because I love going to the movies, and I will pay the outrageous price unless somebody stops me.

Spa Day

2008-11-28T13:36:00.004-07:00

On Monday, I am getting my first massage ever, at the Caudalie Spa, in the Plaza Hotel, for free. That sentence just kept getting better and better.

2008-11-20T21:00:00.001-07:00

I know that this territory has kind of already been covered, but I can't wait.

I went to Tryon Park today

2008-10-30T22:31:00.004-07:00

Pioneers of Gentrification

2008-10-23T15:03:00.003-07:00

I am loving living in Manhattan. Living in New York is a way of life, one that's not for everyone. But I've been drinking it in. I feel like my brain just opened up to possibilities when I moved here. I'm reading more, learning more, going out more, exploring more. I feel like life has a stronger hold on you here. That can be exciting and that can be exhausting. There are so many opportunities. I've seen a couple plays, a few great films, been to a benefit, and a lecture by one of my favorite photographers (Rodney Smith, work featured above). I also live with a couple of great girls whom I love, and who know how to have adventures.

I am really looking forward to all of the fun and experience I'm going to get here.

I love Central Park. I love farmer's markets.

Life is good. Even when you believe pee is dripping out of your roommate's ceiling. (It was actually really dirty water, but given a couple of other experiences in our apartment, we really thought it was the former.) Being a pioneer has its challenges.

my plans tonight

2008-10-07T08:18:00.000-07:00

2008-10-06T21:55:00.002-07:00

good news: I love my apartment.

bad news: I see rats on a regular basis.

good news: we have one of those things to plug in the wall to keep rats out of our apartment. magical.

bad news: lots of cockroaches in the open apartment next door.

good news: that wall thing also keeps away cockroaches. I've not yet seen one in our place... knock on wood...

bad news: it takes me 45 minutes to get to work.

good news: Soho is, of course, charming, and the shopping is amazing.

bad news: I cannot afford to buy anything in Soho.

good news: my first day of work I accidentally got in the way of Sandra Bullock as she was trying to leave my store.

bad news: I still get very starstruck and I'm sure she thought I was staring at her just to stare at celebrity. I really was just surprised.

good news: people in my store are generally friendly.

bad news: skincare in my store is unbelievably boring because no one wants my help ever. They all KNOW what they want, or are JUST LOOKING PLEASE DON'T SAY HELLO TO ME IN THAT FRIENDLY MANNER.

good news: great roommates.

bad news: I waited for an hour for my train to come last night.

good news: I'm going to see Dave Eggers tomorrow night.

bad news: there is so much to spend your money on in this city that does not even include the shopping or the eating.

good news: one of the brand reps in my store is insanely gorgeous. He is a man, which is why I care.

bad news: he wanted somebody else's number.

good news: great rooftop.

best part of the Emmys

2008-09-23T16:38:00.001-07:00

I love Ricky and Steve.

snack time

2008-09-12T22:31:00.004-07:00

That's right, folks, I am flying the coop. Finally. Heading out. On my own. And the big winner: The Big Apple! About a week ago I finally got the official affirmative on my transfer to the Soho Sephora, the first American store. I am in the middle of applying for a gorgeous apartment in Washington Heights, found by my incredible future roommates, Sara and Sarah. And no, I did not do any of the apartment hunting-- I am so so so lucky. Plenty of craigslist browsing, but no actual leg work or any real contribution at all. But look!

Trees! Close by!

More trees!

Exposed brick!
Shiny!
Beautiful hardwood floors!
No, I do not know that lady.

I am THRILLED. And, frankly, cannot believe my luck. I am moving in two weeks. Things kind of just suddenly fell into place. I have zero pieces of furniture. No bed, nor a bedspread for that matter. But I don't care, because I will be living in the city, and it feels good. GREAT.

I am sad to leave behind some lovely lovely people that I met here. I wish I could bring just about everyone in my Sephora to the store in Soho. But I will be joining several friends in the Big Apple, and hopefully meeting many more. I am a little surprised to end up in NYC. My life plan hadn't included it quite so soon. But that's ok, I'll take it. It's a huge life change, a good one.

Wish me luck moving into my fourth floor walkup. And commuting from just about the top of the island to just about the bottom every day.

This. makes. me. sick.

2008-08-30T13:34:00.000-07:00

Subaru: R.I.P. 1997-2008

I loved this car. It makes me positively ill that my idiocy was the means of its demise. You know, not as ill as the accident itself makes me, and the possibility of harm to actual human persons, but ill nonetheless.

I have been driving this car since high school. I took my driving test in it. I listened to my first mix tape in it. I gave many a ride home in it. I sang a lot in it. This car saw a lot of change in me. My friend Katie (who died almost three years ago) rode in it. She scootered through the pouring rain once to pick up keys from my brother because I had locked my keys in this car while it was still running. I have in fact locked my keys in it a few times. I drove from coast to coast of this country in this car. I have spent the night in it because I couldn't afford a hotel room. I have packed my life and all my worldly possessions into it. I have survived a couple of truly scary moments in this car. This car has been my home when I had none. It was also how I got away. I escaped so many times in this car. Into the mountains, out west, to the lake, merely for a drive, to the movies, conversations with friends. The ability to go wherever I wanted when I wanted. It was my own space. Even when I shared it. I have been through so much. in. this. car. I loved it. Seeing what is pictured above just breaks my heart. I think it is, in fact, worse than what the picture looks like. I know, this is just a material possession, and it wasn't even mine, it was my parents', but it meant a lot to me. And I'm going to miss it a lot.

2008-08-20T21:46:00.002-07:00

I made my first really adult purchase today: an iPhone and 2 year contract with AT&T. And I was literally shaking a little bit as I hit accept on the charge authorization. I also now feel slightly nauseous. I hope that will fade as I get used to the idea of my very own phone bill every month. The family plan was nice, but it was just time.

I have a love for my mac and old school iPod that is slightly embarrassing considering they're material objects. So I think this phone will be worth it.

the best part of the finale

2008-08-15T20:41:00.003-07:00

Wade, why have you not been in my life this season?

LOVE this dance.

2008-08-15T20:41:00.001-07:00

I really think Katee and Joshua should have co-won. I think she's the most flawless, though don't get me wrong, Joshua is obviously amazing. But Katee is pretty much spot-on 100% of the time.

you guys

2008-07-24T00:14:00.003-07:00

This is where Sephora is putting me up for Encore. No offense to my sisters and their lovely apartment, but it's the swankiest place I've stayed at in NYC. It's a $350 a night hotel! Last year, I stayed in a semi-sketchy hostel room with 9 other girls and one bathroom per floor. That's all I'm saying.

P.S. why did no dances on SYTYCD really excite me tonight? No posting youtube videos here.

Watchmen

2008-07-22T19:56:00.001-07:00

I know, all my blog is now is youtube videos. But this trailer is pretty awesome. I just hope it's not as boring as 300 was.

ridiculous

2008-07-22T19:45:00.001-07:00

in the good way. Though I hate the costumes. And I think it highlighted Will, when I'd prefer it to be about them dancing TOGETHER. But maybe Will is just a little bit self-centered... I guess it would be hard not to be if you were such a good dancer in a competition. And maybe the choreographer just liked Will more.

favorite

2008-07-22T19:41:00.001-07:00

despite stupid camera angles

delayed reaction

2008-07-22T19:37:00.001-07:00

This was one of my favorites from last week. I think Joshua had an awesome week, and didn't get as much attention as he deserved. I loved his solo, and we also saw a new, more confident side of Joshua.

Business Trip!

2008-07-21T22:03:00.003-07:00

Today, as I was working, the store director called me, and I thought: "Very unusual. I think this is going to be good news." She told me that they had selected me to be one of three castmembers to be sent to Skin Encore! That means extra training on skincare in New York City. I have been dying to go to an Encore since S.O.S., my original Sephora training. And yes, I would prefer Color Encore, since that's my world at Sephora, but I also love skincare. And skin training is way better than no training! I was super ecstatic. The reason I'm not going to Color Encore is that there's quite a list going for people who want to go, and I'm one of the newest people in the store. But I'm thinking that they must really like me if they chose me to go to this Encore, even though Skin isn't my world. I've been working really hard, and I think it's paying off! I'm going next week. I could not be more excited.

Different.

2008-07-10T11:59:00.001-07:00

I thought this showed off Will so well. Jessica I found a little halting, she wasn't nearly as fluid as Will. After their second dance, Mia said that Will looked so tired of carrying his partner, and it was so aaaaaaawkward. Will did not know how to react correctly.

p.s. Comfort and Thayne have to go.
p.p.s. I love Tyce.

Sexy Chelsie

2008-07-10T11:50:00.001-07:00

I like Chelsie. I like Mark too, but this really showed off Chelsie more. And I like watching her face. She also smoothed over her dress catching on Mark's suspender really well.

Viennese Waltz

2008-07-10T11:45:00.001-07:00

I know I seem a little Joshua-Katee-centric, but Katee was so beautiful in this piece!

Bollywood number!

2008-07-10T11:42:00.001-07:00

This was the best one from last night, I loved it! Katee and Joshua are awesome. Every time I watch a pre-dance segment I get all doubtful of them, and then they totally rock the number. I hope the show keeps doing world-culture dances. I would love to see a Bollywood group number.